Yea and now what?

Everybody just walks out of the house and all the responsibility gets thrown to me?

DAMN, it seemed like whatever things I'm associated with, it will ultimately screw up.

Am I a SCREWED up person?

I highly doubt so...

On the contrary, my predicament tells me otherwise....

I've just screwed up the performance yesterday.

I've screwed up my studies last year and I'm betting it will be soon this year.

I've screwed up with pursuing the only one person that I would ever want to do so much for.

I've screwed up as a son to my parent.

I've screwed up as a leader, nothing always goes as planned and thereby failing in the monitoring, ergo causing a surge of failing domino from the top and even myself.

I've screwed up as a friend. All these while, I simply just cant symphathise with others problem. When I looked at mine and compare, and yet I'm still doing fine outwardly, man I always want to tell them "that's life". However, I'm gonna tell myself that's life and it suck big time.

I've screwed up as a 2nd elder brother in my family. I'm really to busy to care for my own lil bro and sis, thats really just excuses. Its when you love, you give. You give your time and your sacrifices, why can't I just love.

I've screwed up as a student. Why can't I just do everything as told and accordingly to all my teachers?

I've screwed up as a Soprano singer. It just takes so much effort for me to sing like a real soprano would sing and I just cant adapt, even so after for nearly a year.

I've screwed up as a member of Church. Really a great place to be but I'm a disappointment to my leaders. Not many of you know it but I've left church already. I have my reasons and I ain't going back.

And Now, I've got a screwed up family...

Tell me, how would you feel if when every night you try to study for your tests and do your work, and your parents never fail to not quarrel every night?
Tell me, how would you respond if your dad told you its finished, once I'm cleared of bankruptcy I will divorce?
Tell me, what will you do if your mum wrote you to take care of the house and stuffs, while she will be away but still providing the funds and that she's gonna fight over for us, the house and then divorce? What happens?
I will be the one going to the market.. I will be the one giving pocket money to lil sibilings.. I will be the one checking their work.

Damn, I really don't know how long more I can take it. Everyday I'm already tired enough and now this...

You ask me how did I managed to get that kinda score last term? Well, one thing I'm uncommon with the rest. I don't sleep so much more than all my friends.

Maximise your time though.