Its been a while, doesn't matter though.
Last Sat was Valentine's day. Well, good day for all to hype up about but just any other ordinary day for me. Unsurprisingly, pretty much everybody was out there hanging out with friends and I wasn't invited to all of those "hang outs". When you are not called out, there are always reasons for it. Tagging along? Not my style.
Out of the pathetic situation coincidentally with Lionel, both of us actually planned to study Amath and do some homework together during the noon but ended up at Roy's house playing. I think thats really Lionel's last resort also, with me? Studying? Totally a no way to anyone.
P/S Only read whats below with an open mind. If you're offended, I'm sorry. It's my only source of venting.
"Why must the weather be that hot? Why must there be false hope hanging always? You guys wanna go separate just do it, don't freaking play any mind games. I can't stand it anymore and except for the finance, it doesn't make any difference to me either. One moment you all make it look its like all fine and the next, all hell break loose. So, what the hell? and who friggin gives a damn!? Whens the last time you guys actually gave a damn about my life which don't concern you a single bit at all? I bet you all don't even know my class, the subjects I'm taking and maybe even what I am.
In school, almost everyday I reach home only at 7pm. Go home, only continue to work more about school's stuff and work. Everday only sleeping for not more than 5 hours. Going to school with a irritating right headed nuisance through the day. And I get reply like this " You think only you tired uh?" " No use telling me", so What the hell?
And I always see people complaining about how stress they can get with so little stuffs going on, c'mon man! Enlarge ur friggin capacity! Whats the big deal with sleeping for 4 hrs before schoolday? I do that almost any other day and you don't see me going around with a trumpet ranting.
Try and be me for just one week! C'MON! Don't engage in any conversation sharing about yourselves for one week, only hav a total of less than 5 mins conversation with the total of ur family members. Have ur parents on the verge of separation while looking fine on the surface. Still continue doing whatever your parents ask you to do while acting like nothing has happened. Take 8 subjects and complete all due homework before its due. Sleep for only 5 hrs for 6 days. Coordinate and prepare all those meetings and make sure you have 18 people doing their jobs. Get all left out by all your friends, get misunderstood for showing off instead of helping, get no one to encourage you, get all those people you expect to remember your birthday to forget yours, get people to give you cold shouder when you try to correct something, get all the unrequited love, get into a position where getting involve is inapproriate but your heart tells you otherwise, but you still ultimately cant, because you're just not good enough,
And then look perfectly fine and good all day long when everyone is around! Smile and entertain everyone you see and really do it like you mean it! And still keep the focus on whatever focus there is to keep.
Have no idea how long more I can take it, maybe it should get worst.. So when I look back I can then appreaciate the past?
So what? Look at my title, C'est La Vie! That's life and at least for now it kinda sucks.
Arab English
"Insa!" = "Too Effin' bad!"
