You see the water flowing down the stairs,
millions and millions of water molecues.
Its flow, controlled by gravity,
moving on downwards with unwillingness or willingness.
It does not know where the journey will lead itself to,
just knowing somehow,
just one day there will be an end to the journey.
It goes through the journey with paths,
sometimes going smoothly,
sometimes rough, sometimes thrilling,
sometimes in suspense while falling down the steps,
When there are times too long without obstacles,
it thinks maybe it will be the same for good until the end,
only to be filled with disappointments when
it finds that, journey still goes on,
on paths of smoothness, roughness and suspense.
It does gets tired of the journey sometimes,
trying to avoid the journey,
trying to go out of the path,
convincing itself there is more to the journey,
than what it's going through.
One thing for sure it can't know,
it cant know when the journey ends,
where it leads to, the reason and meaning of the journey.
Looking from that angle,
you stare, wondering,
thinking whats the point in all these journeys of water?
Thinking back again,
isn't this what people go through life with, everyday?
Happiness? Disappointments? Uncertainties?
All only for a season or period,
never knowing when it comes and when it goes.
Inability to accept the reality of meaningless,
Ultimately, failing to understand the purpose of the journey,
Which speaks of Life.
Didn't really update for the past few days. I'm heading on the China this week already, Sunday.
While taking a very wet and flooding walk today by myself, I did some self-reflection in my mind.
Whatever things I saw, it goes to my mind and I started to think. I particularly like something I saw, the picture above where lots of water are flowing down the stairs. So I just took it and decided I shall blog about it.
If you've read at Lionel's blog, I somehow just seems to have lost interest in things I used to like doing. Like in the past, I could spent hours on gaming and now it just seems pointless to me. Besides that, I also watched really lots and lots, and really I mean ALOT of Movies and Tv shows for over a year or so already. Now it kinds of bore me whenever I start watching. Somehow, I can just accurately predict the plot of the movie and how it will end.
On top of this, I kind of found myself being quite pathetic believe it or not. Its like so hard nowadays for me to find company either to go do things together or even just a simple meal spontaneously. Either people just suddenly seems too far away from you to call out to or just simply because you have no one around you to be with.
In my house, its always just like a common place for lodging, where people live their own lives and where there isn't really much communication or interaction going around. It really makes no difference with living alone, except that you see humans walking around but you're alone, like in the public.
Anyway, most people go through our lives, too busy to evaluate our standings in life. Just going through the motion, just following a routine everyday, doing things that we're "supposed" to do. Answering questions with "politically right" answers and not really saying or thinking what's in our heart or mind. How did we humans get used to being so "controlled" in our actions?
Ultimately, the question remains here is, what's the reason for my being here? Is there a point? Would there be a meaning for it? Should we just live our lives as how its defined to be? Right now, I can already "think of" or "hear" lots of answers to that question, coming from you readers. Maybe there's somehow a model answer to it all but it might as well not answer the question at all, if you understand what I mean.
Currently, there are certain things I'm confused of or uncertain about. I can't quite figure out or infer the meanings behind most responses and gestures. Sometimes, I do feel quite useless and sorry for not doing some things or I would say failure to find courage to do things I'm supposed to. Like doing the right things approriate, placing the right priorities in line for different occasions or functions etc.
Whatever the reasons, its all gotta do with one thing... Its the Uncertainty in me and maybe also Uncertainty in everybody else's minds.
It might be that I'm just thinking too much but things still always ends up two ways, its either forward or backward, yes or no, and black or white if you like it.
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